LIVING WITH PARKINSON’S … Denial and Realisation. It will probably be different for us all.

WRITE A BLOG … REALLY, I said to best friend number 2 in the most disparaging manner. Many of you will be thinking what is so ridiculous at this suggestion so, let me explain. I believe that I have lived with Parkinson’s with relevant ease because, (up until this morning, the time is currently 03.43am and I sit wide eyed applying weight to my foot by sitting on my shins as chronic cramp has woken me) I admit, that I have never read an article on my condition, never studied current research, never read those silly flimsy guides on the do’s and don’ts of our medication but, in particular, I NEVER READ ANY PREDICTIONS ON TO HOW THIS DISEASE WOULD EFFECT ME MOVING FORWARD as to me, it’s all been about WHAT I CAN DO NOW !! So, probably, doing everything I shouldn’t I have just embarked my days just like any fit and well individual until the start of the spring last year. It was then, when I realised that I was starting to struggle in the gym so, in disbelief … I stopped.  Denial meets realisation.

How silly of me, having lost two stone in Spain in the Summer of 2015 with my son and his girlfriend setting regular diet and exercise over the past nine months I’ve just put it all back on … how annoying and why, because I was scared! Sound familiar, I’m sure it does because this realisation will at some point come to us all. Even more scary for me was I had just met the most understanding, supportive and generous with his encouragement, man and I knew he would see a difference in me and maybe not like it so, I tried to hide it and my symptoms over the past six months carrying this sense of anxiety worsened, scared and now misinformed or actually not informed at all this secondary denial and my state of mind, pushed him away.

So, what do I do? it’s simple … go back to following my belief I can do everything but, try now to accept that’s its ok if the blonde, half my age, in the middle or the gym has done 50 more sits up unaided without a cage than me … that just down to our ages … right? and today, should have been yesterday, by the way, that’s me all over, I return to lemon water, oats and apricots, salads, soup and fish and daily trip to gym … and I’ll keep you posted on the results but, in the meantime, for those of you who are informed, please don’t correct my diet, I do intend to study this over the next few weeks and will blog an update of what we should be eating whilst tackling weight loss but also please remember, I’M NOT AN EXPERT, I’m a fun loving, in fact, many would say vivacious and somewhat scatty blonde who is going to try help us learn together! Keeping it simple and sparing us all medical jargon. So, until tomorrow. Love, love, love. Time now 04:50, first round of medication soon and some comfort from chronic cramping still in foot!

 


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