LIVING ALONE WITH PARKINSON’S When it gets to midday and I evaluate what I’ve done then realise that equals little short of nothing!

 

Having just moved into a new home the last few weeks have been taxing on my body, but most of the time I have managed to giggle through the frustration of not being able to help with so many of the tasks that I used to complete with ease because I have been surrounded by my family and friends, who with their light-hearted comments and often teasing approach have helped me feel good about what I have done and not let me dwell on the negatives of what I have not.  But on the days when I have experienced “off times” I cannot help feeling inadequate at my inability and have been left stood, or more often than not sat tormented and incredibly stressed by my failings.

Most mornings I get up with my Things to Do list clenched in my hand with every intention to complete by lunchtime.  But by then, I look around me to find half a dozen tasks started but none complete, but why?   Quite simply, I still have not come to terms with the fact that I am different to my friends and that I  can no longer, walk to the Doctors surgery 5.8 miles away for my prescription,  return to housework and the making new of curtains whilst preparing supper, replying to my emails and taking calls.

Realisation of “off times” is hard as they are rearing their head more often than I would like at the moment as I wait to introduce a new medication to my existing prescription and no matter how many times my son tells me to “chill out, slow down, evaluate the priorities, tackle the jobs you can do but, do not think you are being judged by those you can’t,” followed by his favourite strap line “Mum for a bright woman you are so desperately silly” the feeling of failure remains with me and heavily plays on my mind.

So this morning in an attempt to avoid the unnecessary stress I am putting on myself, I recall my lifelong mantra of working efficiently and successfully.  PPP,  patient planning leaves you well prepared and therefore, I keep repeating to myself:

be patient, it will all get done

plan, mix up the physical tasks within those that are easier on my body

As by doing this I will become more prepared,  able to complete my day feeling good about myself once more and hopefully, sipping a glass of good red or if I’m with my son a beer as I do, deserve it!

 


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